Creative Worship: Have Faith, He Knows...

Luke 24:38

And he said to them,

"Why are you troubled, and why do doubts arise in your hearts?"

So I’m going to be totally honest and a bit vulnerable with you guys. About 2 years ago, my husband really wanted another baby and I wasn’t sure that I did. Not because I don’t love the kids I have, I do of course! But if you’re a mom, you KNOW how hard that first year can be. Very, very little sleep, lots of crying, worrying, wondering what’s wrong, juggling all the baby “stuff” and just in general making life for a few years a little more difficult. And the thought of starting over again after you’ve already had two... you wonder if you can do it all again!

I started to pray and think a lot about this whole topic and if I thought I could really do it again. The other two had gotten older and “easier” and starting over would bring me back to square one. But one day I was sitting in my craft room, and read a devotional with the verse

Luke 24:38

“Why are you troubled, and why do doubts rise in your minds?”

It spoke to me in a way it never had before. I just started crying! Like God had spoken right to my heart and said “Why are you doubting Me? And yourself?!?” Right then and there I wrote out a list of all of my worries, and reasons I was questioning myself at the time. I gave them to God and I prayed this exact prayer, “Lord, if we are meant to be a bigger family, please change my heart! Give me a sign or clear my doubt and show me what I am meant to do.”

And I kid you not, 2 days later, it was like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders and I suddenly wasn’t worried or scared anymore. I didn’t doubt myself and I knew if we tried for another and it worked out, then it was meant to be and I was more than ready. Wow God right?! Who other than God could have changed my mind and heart so quickly.

Well, I lost my dad unexpectedly in January 2019 at 7 months pregnant with the baby I had prayed about. Trying to grieve while pregnant was very difficult. I also worried that the grief I was trying to suppress for my health would end up crushing me after the baby was born when compiled with all the hormones and emotions of having a newborn.

Well fast forward to now... where we’re getting ready to celebrate Alyssa’s first birthday in April! This past year has been a whirlwind of emotion, pain and blessings all in one. But a few months ago I realized, God KNEW that I would need Alyssa! Having her to hold, and love on in this precious season has helped heal my heart immensely!! I had no way of knowing just how much I would need her in our lives... but God did!!! He knew what was ahead for our family with the unexpected loss of my dad, and he knew that Alyssa would be the bright light in a dark year for all of us. And I do not take that for granted for one moment. All the things I was worried about in this first year with her have all been an answer to prayer. She has been the easiest baby, an amazing sleeper (yay!!), and the happiest little girl! She has been an amazing blessing that has completed our family.

I am so glad looking back on that day, that I took that leap of faith and trusted in God and what he had planned for us! God has always been there guiding me through life and he will never leave my side. Just as he is there for YOU and will never leave your side!

Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the Lord with all your heart,

and lean not on your own understanding;

in all your ways submit to him,

and he will make your paths straight.

Her pudgy footprint :)

I covered up a messed up handprint with
these cascading acrylic flowers

So this page I'm sharing today has Alyssa's footprint on it, at 10 months old. I tried to do her hand print but that's much easier said than done! Check out my instagram post here to see a short video of us "attempting" to do her handprint haha. Here are a couple photos...